We've written you a note
I'm not surprised
You haven't taken any of your precious time
To read the crimes
We've accused you of

You look good from afar, so it's a shame
You’re playing footsie underneath the counterpane
But it's no game
When you kick our legs from beneath us

But the top of the tree doesn't seem too bright
As the lightning charges above
So scurry on down to a safer height
If you know what's good
Be understood
You won't slip that far

You're in the Bull and Bear, oh animal
Consorting with the vultures you consider friends
It just depends - what d'you think you are?

You're reading out the scores as they come flooding in
You say it's not your fault that we've all lost again
But I contend
It doesn't look like that from here

But the ladder laid flat over melting ice
Isn't gonna hold your weight for long
Your knack of not listening to our advice
Should worry you
Oh hurry fool
We'll not save your arse

If you want this life of comforts then you've got to earn it
I know it's not right to both want your cake
And burn at the stake
Everyone else who deserves it

So choose another sport
And pick the teams
Keep leaving all us weaklings to run laps around
The playground
While you win the cup single-handed

But a ladder laid flat over melting ice
Isn't gonna hold your weight for long
The crack that you hear from beneath your thighs
Should worry you
Oh hurry fool
The water you once sailed through
Is gonna pull you under soon
I hope you sink fast.